Seems I can’t get enough of this tattooed rock star. I’m oozing with delish while I dream of days when I sat just spit distance from him as he paraded up and down a basketball court length stage. Ah Dave. Yum yum.

There is a new addition to my family!

Little baby Rocco was born this morning at 11:56am. 2.9 lbs and 16.5 cm long. He will be gladly accepted into his new home after his first truck ride! We anxiously await his arrival! With a keen whit, a razor sharp intellect and lightning fast speed he will be a great addition. With Veronica and Lola by my side we say ‘Welcome Home Rocco’!

Today I mark the last of many days spent on Myspace. In an on-going struggle and personal debate as to whether I really do wish to say good-bye. When I am not ready to stop announcing to the world my relationship status, when I am not ready to no longer have my face and those special to my heart adorned on my profile, it is hard to let go. It is hard to walk away and think you will not be able to announce your daily mood to your friends, or post good wishes in their comments. To a site that has caused me more grief than good why do I still find it hard to let go?

I listen to Rihanna today and feel as though I seek my own ‘drug’ and struggle with the hardest part of any drug. Not having it. I seek my own retreat and reward. I long to feel free, and alive. How will I feel when the drug is no longer there. When is my Rehab?

Life and my new favorite book have shown me a world in which I can feel set free. And, as I long to find this kind of peace I struggle as to how I am to get there. Life’s journey brings us to many different obstacles. I find that it requires great strength to climb a mountain out of a deep valley. Will and determination to seek higher, to seek light, to seek the Sun. And as I look back on my mole hills, mountains, valleys and stumbles I see a path that has led me to this day. Life was never promised to be easy. It was never promised to not hurt.

Is it possible to simply look at life’s trend, and to know from this deep valley, with a desire to seek peace, light is my reward?

hee hee. nah but I really do.

Love, Me

A little game we call ‘I Never’.

Work finds itself a little slow today. It seems when corporate activities leave me at a lull I never know where to turn. I often wonder if the best use of my time is posting. And you could probably tell by the time in which I post I am not one to fodder mid-afternoon while restlessly looking for entertainment behind this horrid PC screen. I giggle with coworkers over the daily celeb gossip and look to achieve greatness in my Access Report abilities, and realize that when Renee starts singing ‘Roll Out The Barrel’ the day’s kookiness has begun. Which leads me to think, just as Whitney has never said “Crack is Wack”, I would never ever partake in a round of ‘Islands in the Stream’ to prove I am versed in the great Kenny & Dolly. The shame of it all.

I never will admit my follies. So you will have nothing to blackmail me with. I will not publicly goof like Tara Reid, nipple slip and demand that my stupidity makes “Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist”. Stop laughing and start crying because I KNOW I’m never funny.

I never wore Crocs. Don’t laugh and don’t tell anyone either, but it’s true. I never wore Crocs! My mom said they were ok for ‘garden wear’. I figured one slip-on to dash through the garage was no crime. My feet still feel the green foam encompassing them, and emotionally beat me for the fashion shame. Oh how they sweat in that non-breathable foam-resin. How they longed to be set free! Crocs will never live in my home. Unless my mother moves in.

I never said I like Britney Spears either! So there! Once back in 1999 there was a girl who pleaded ‘Hit Me Baby, One More Time’ and baby, she was definitely hit. Now come closer kids, because the story is just getting good. Britney was a sweet innocent little tart. She traveled the world to “oversees places like Canada”, and Japan where they eat the fish (”which is very popular out there in Africa”). Yes, she grew up a good girl. She never flashed her jewels to paparazzi eyes. The good motherly love of Mama Spears must have raised Britney right. She too would grow up to be a wonderful doting mother. And just like any good mother, sweet B would never tell her children they were “mistakes”. I am sure Mama Spears feels good knowing Jamie-Lynn is following in big sissys footsteps.

I never thought this blog would end up being a celebrity bash fest and realize that as I waste time reading goof-ups of the Spears gals I have little time to blog-on, therefore this little game of ‘I Never’ comes to a pause. Perhaps soon we can pick up where we left off.

Take note to my most drab but very straight forward title. I want to bring to mind that it is very important to me that you know EXACTLY what my fodder of the day is, as it holds much importance in well . . . everything! Fashion is the key to unlock the gates of Heaven, I am convinced! A healthy statement with a trendy pair of shoes simply glows of Heaven and makes you warm and fuzzy inside. The aura of good intentions overwhelms you and you can’t help but smile at the site of brown properly mixed with black. Which believe me when I say it’s tricky and should be left to the masters. In the beauty of fashion I find my will to crack a smile today, at the site of all that is good and brought down from Heaven by God himself. Thank God for House of Holland or life as we know it would be forever drab.

With that I bring you the light at the end of the tunnel. A hope for years to come, and just three simple words, our reason to live, Paris Fashion Week.

Ever since I was a wee tot I have taken note of what happens ankles and below. From the days I walked daintily on my tip toes (I think secretly hoping to elongate my legs something I still do as I rise above with the biggest shoes I can find), to my ballet dancing days. To my love of Barbie’s petite little heeled toes, to pedicures, and pride in my high arches, and now with my desire to permanently ink my favorite appendage to accessorize, I take note in what we all decide is trend. What choices we make, and how we mix and match. How we seek comfort or disregard comfort for fashion. Something I often do and will probably regret when my feet are mushed up like Cinderella’s step sisters 20 years from now, and all I can wear are Crocs. And this brings me to another point as I ponder if I would ever put my fat deformed foot into a Croc when the day arrives that my bunions are too big for Stilettos. My answer, “NO NO and Triple NO! No Infinite.” I shall wear slippers for an eternity if needs be but Crocs are still a serious faux pas.

This blog became vision with one subtle email move from Brian. With this little piece of treasure I find once again that ‘The World Is Full Of Stupid People’ and sometimes I just kinda want to blog about it. Crocs are the cause of the World’s stupidity. I am sure of it. As Crocs rise our IQ level drops. A World of Croc wearing idiots remains.

However this blog is not about Crocs, although I seem to be moving that direction with every key stroke. So with the change of subject I bring you bad foot happenings.

I have been sitting at this 6 foot skirted registration table waiting impatiently for some excitement to find me in my day. As 90 attendees shuffle through the conference gates, registration packet in hand I find freedom when the doors close and session begins. At last I can take refuge with my cup of Espresso Blend and my Bagel with Cheese and Jam. They come here with expectations of learning something new, perhaps just an excuse to escape the office. And while I find i have learned little more than our need for extra name badges they find themselves in a reunion with coworkers past and colleagues gone AWOL. So, I sit and while I receive compliments on what they think is my perfume when I believe that soft sweet fragrance is really my deodorant, or maybe my hair, I long for a nap and the end of a long week.

Spending my morning looking for something to bring to you all and starting and deleting multiple beginnings to a blog that now seems to have the flow. And I always say, “No Flo, No Go, Got Flo, Fo Sho.” Well I always say that starting today. And with this I want to tell you of my obscure find today, and that is Lakme Fashion Week. Fashion Week Bollywood style. My pick of the day, Urvashi Kaur, her style fresh, infused with color, full of spark and fine lines. It is always exciting for me to discover someone not yet discovered by myself. Those first glances through the gallery of someone who you know was, is or will be great. The first taste of their creativity always has my heart racing just a little bit faster.

. . . had to empty my bucket once already as my lip drippith over. The level of drool that moistens my mouth is quite overwhelming as I determine my love of tattooed rock stars and debate who has earned a slot on my Top Ten men in Hollywood. I google for pictures and decide that those that I struggle to find just 3 yummy photos of for sharing may be gorgeous, but not on my list (ie. Jude Law), and those that require much debate as to which of the many yummy photos I should use, are straight to my Top 10.

In no particular order I give you my idea of the most luscious men in Hollywood. Christian Bale, David Beckham, Channing Tatum, Johnny Depp, James Franco, Gavin Rossdale, Dave Grohl, Hayden Christiansen, Hugh Jackman and Tom Welling.

While I gently stroke the keys, I tap tap, and my head ponders days gone by. I remember what life at 15 felt like and for the first time I feel at peace. I don’t generally look back and remember being happy, being secure. I remember only wanting something other than what I had. Awkward in my physical attributes, shy and unpredictably nervous with the opposite sex I felt lost. I questioned when my parents would get me and remember thinking that friends had it so much better. Questioned why my mother wouldn’t let me buy low cut shirts and why tight jeans were not approved. I was shaving my legs and wearing makeup but as TLC bumped my Aiwa I longed to feel more mature. Why couldn’t I sport my bra with a jacket like Paula and Janet? I longed to be one of those pretty girls that wore amazing clothing and earned smiles from the likes of the Davids and Scotts. I assumed that the superficial qualities that were doted on were exactly what I was lacking. I looked at the Maggies and Carries and felt awkward, longing for their popularity. I wanted to be more . . . or maybe just different.

10 years gone by and here it comes and while I flip through pages of sour memories I feel the same taste of bitterness to those who found no end in picking on me, to those who felt their laughter was worth my tears. I took escape in my make believe where I could be anyone my mind dreamed up. The sister of Tori Spelling in with the coolest kids in Beverly Hills, the girlfriend of Matthew Lawrence, walking red carpets around. I was a designer, an artist, a girlfriend, a star, I was beautiful, and accepted.

I type the time away and ponder what my heart felt and know I desire no return. I wonder if I was alone or if others felt the same. I look at those gone missing these last 10 years and wonder if they too just looked for an escape. Perhaps they have found it, and they too wish to stay gone in a life where they can be themselves and feel free.

However, I feel at peace as I know life is more than just a pretty face. I feel how I have grown and feel the achievement of the maturity I longed for. I look in the mirror and see a beautiful face, where I used to gaze in a mirror and see nothing. However, now I see a beauty that shines out from within and realize it was always there. It was just unrecognized as it was burried behind demands of superficial attributes. There is a bigger world full of acceptance, one that holds more importance than that small school, teenage ideology. Life is not about playing Volleyball, wearing expensive clothing and dating the most popular boy at 16. I neglect to understand how 10 years ago so few of us knew that.

I look at those days, and feel as though I have escaped, and now that I have run away, I pray I might stay lost.

One more thought on Fashion Week would be what is tumbling through my mind on Zac Posen. He is beautiful! Well his designs are, he isn’t bad either. I am very intrigued this season with the colors of choice. Tuxedo style dresses, ties, blazers, black and white and bright bold tights. I am hooked on tights for fall as I am generally a very chilled person, perhaps cold blood runs through my veins. I find layering to be a must and tights to be just plain necessity when it comes to dresses in Fall and Winter. I adore dresses but my cold blood keeps me avoiding them and dreaming of the day I can wear them. Thanks to the popularity of tights I no longer have to dream and can adorn myself with all the dresses I spend so much effort in bidding on via ebay.

Zac, thank you. For keeping the love of leg wear alive. He most interestingly uses women’s attire with heavy suit tones and masculine design and I do love a woman in a vest. I am a big fan of suit styles on women. So I will keep it simple. Just believe me in that I find it interesting, in love with the color palette, and I am totally crushing on Posen now.

In my attempt to liven up this blog that I have been told is lacking in pictures I bring you something of more entertainment value I hope. It has been all too long since I talked fashion, had it determined by several friends that I should keep on with the dating life as many of my girls were enjoying the bad date stories I spoke of. However, New York Fashion Week was in February and I have said nothing and I feel regret. Therefore . . .

Many women find Vera Wang’s designs to be very beautiful, feminine, colorful, form flattering . . . and I agree. The woman knows lines, she knows the female form and she very graciously drapes with ease.

Vera, as many know, but probably just as many do not know, trained as a figure skater and competed for many years. Competing in the 1968 Figure Skating Championships and being featured in Sports Illustrated to top that. She tried out to be in the Olympics but as her skating did not get her on the team she found herself moving into the Fashion Industry and thank God she did otherwise who in the heck would I have make my wedding gown someday.

She was the Anna Wintour of Vogue while Anna was too busy playing with older gentlemen. She designed figure skating apparel for some of the best, not including the knee whacker, but including the knee whackee. The gown guru whipped up a prom number for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Sarah Michelle Geller. She has had a handful of TV appearances and has a very brag worthy fashion resume. A very deserving brag worthy one at that.

This February her fall fashion for 2008 really caught my eye. I adore her color palette this year. Mustard, rust orange, pale olive, black of course is always a classic fav, she has an excellent eye for color and design. She drapes with much creativity not always hitting the expected line but I love this about her. She keeps you guessing. She keeps you interested and intrigued. I appreciate her efforts in the last two images as she creates floral pattern by arranging fabric instead of using print. I am very much in love with 3D design and giving garments a very multiple layer dimension. I appreciate fine lines and classic tailoring as well but love to see the creativity that an artist portrays while messing with one’s own imagination and abilities.

Always a fan of Mrs. Wang she will continue to please my eye.

I should perhaps too mention my invitation from a man who wanted to come out and meet me on the day of love to have me be apart of his threesome. His invitation with the words ‘Are you going to give me VD on V-day” being just the start of why I gave him a big fat NO!

Men can be so smooth.

What hell we put ourselves through.

Valentines’ day typically stinks if you are a single person, and especially a single woman. As you sit in your office listening to squeals from the neighboring cubicles from fellow female coworkers you find yourself sinking. You might feel more than happy with your single life and your ability to come and go in relationships as you please, live a ‘Samantha’ mentality, but yet on this one day, this one completely rubbish day, you feel like pooh. To put it politely. Society convinces singles that they are only somebody if they are across from a dozen long stems, or being showered with expensive chocolates.

My friend tells me of her night after a long night of drinking herself into a better state of being single again for the 3rd time on this 14th day. She found herself walking home, as she parted from her party for the evening, with the fullest bladder imaginable. Stumbling from one bush to the next looking for the most private location for a quick break. Claiming she couldn’t find a desirable location she chose to zip behind two parked cars were she most pleasingly relieved her bladder. Seems for some odd reason the desire to take off her panties came over her as she recalled to me sitting down to take off her pants, and her under-roos.

What really gets me, is one, her desire to take off her bottoms, she still recalls she has no clue what possessed her to do so, and two, her telling me of the uncomfortable wetness she felt on the back of her pants wondering if she had missed a bit in her aim. As she continued to study the cold wet feeling, wondering what was the cause and stumbling about she soon find herself home. In a location, I proclaimed would have been the ideal bathroom location. She shooshes me as I laugh.

I will admit that I was home sleeping the night peacefully away after a Girl’s Night of dancing and drinks and bull riding. My best move to celebrate the holiday being to get some girls together to hit a well known trash bar that is known for their mechanical bull. I found much more enjoyment in the ride then I suspected as I held on for my full 9 seconds, gripping hard with my legs, and a good hold with my leather gloved hand. Surprised to see that this bull comes equipped with proper gripping equipment for it’s riders. Really the best attempt at a Valentine’s Day celebration for myself as I spend it with dear friends. A good slap on the roast rump from Christina being the best gift received this happy day.

My gal, Sage however, not to leave the story hanging, found herself in a much more sober state the next morning after her panty toss and her midnight crawl, finding the markings of nothing more than that she sat in her own pee while fulfilling her desire to loose a layer. Now it being quite obvious to her why she felt so damp, and to me why I have to keep a better eye on this one when she gets drunk. If nothing more than so I have something to talk about here.

Dying for the day when my blog has fully transfered and I will be able to upload pictures again. Recently switched over to a new server and there has been a bit of untangling trying to get all the pieces in order so I can be back in full swing.

Reading back on old blogs today and it is way overdue for me to report what I loved and hated about red carpet fashion in 2007. It has been tradition for me to blabber on about the excess of lace, ruffles, and bows and the lack-there-of of cut, form or style. I will see what I can do without the ability to give you many visual aids, but be patient and try to follow along. Also, feel free to throw up a little. I know I did.

This might be too much to handle. Be warned and have a paramedic near by. Fug is always a great resource when looking for ghastly red carpet faux pas’, so naturally the first place I look is within their pages. I can hardly control myself as I am riddled with bold floral strapless minis, birds and bows on breasts, bling gone thrift-store and even the men often are clueless. Which how can a tux go bad? You would be surprised.

I don’t even know where to begin here. You would be amazed at the ease of googling butt ugly fashion and the results you will find. It’s wonderful!

Lastly, no ‘All Those Who Are Hideous’ blog would be complete without a little of this! POW! Or a big mess of that! BAM! or a steaming pile of this baby! WAAMMM! How sweet of these gals to keep the Fug Blog in business.

Okay can’t take anymore for today. Feeling a bit woozie. Photos hopefully not too far behind as well as something that’s actually WORTH taking time to write about. Reading this blog of mine perhaps not the best use of mine or your time, but hopefully at least a 5 for entertainment and laughter factor. And of course I know I am extremely witty but I expect the laughs to be over how sad you feel for these pathetic celebrity stylists that goofed, and not so much at me. Laugh with me not at me.

Reading my email today and one particular email from ivillage.com the weekly eletter, iGo Green, strikes my attention. Realizing just now as I type this word, ‘Green’, that my blog seems far less about what I read in the style pages these days, and more about what I read in the columns of the New York times Dot Earth Blog (For those of you that have read back and know my growing appreciation for the blog). No harm done however and to the contrary I find I am really sustaining myself.

As to what caught my attention? Save energy by turning off your computer at night opposed to allowing it to kick into sleep mode. Despite what we think sleep mode is not the energy saving choice. When debating over taking your travels by train, plane or automobile, choose train. Now with Vitamin B5, “the anti-stress vitamin”. Train is a smarter option when considering the effects on air pollution, water pollution and habitat alteration. And, if you just want some knowledgeable information in ‘humor columnist’ format, take part in my new pursuit of grist.org.

It’s possible I read the Daily Candy too much. No longer a blog monkey and now my fodder drifting away from blog-woirs with an increasingly new and different monologue that oddly reminds me of what I read in my ‘Candy’ emails. I hear myself sounding less like myself, that bad case of blogarrhea has passed. Now I actually have something to say and don’t just come here to waste time. Also, finding much enjoyment with blogging slang (as you can see).

Sitting at work today . . . it’s pretty slow. Cutting open some envelopes and slowly going through the short stack of work on my desk. Honestly wishing I had more energy to blog today considering how eager my fingers are to tap the keys. Two cups of Earl Grey later and my mind is still convinced that it’s 4am and I should be sleeping. Listening to my Gabey Love and delving into the lyrics of ‘Out of Place’; finding my comfort while the hours pass.

Where did the week go? Officially moving into the new Condo tomorrow. Excited, nervous, anxious, overwhelmed . . . where do I begin. All the hard work paying off as we make progress, and yet as the days tear off the desktop calendar it feels like there is no end. I have nearly lost my way to the closet, as piles of clothes and shoes build a wall between me and any hope I have to not wear the same jeans and T every day. At the point this T makes appearance #4 in one week, me and the AMEX have an agreement to hit Nordie’s for more. My friend for life, my sleek In NYC AMEX promising to provide for me even when everything is in the wash or the wardrobe is too many seasons too old. Some friends will always be by your side.

Barely one educational moment as this Friday passes and I realize my greatest daily achievement would be a toss between emptying a complete box of Kleenex as I recover from a cold, or peeling off the rind from my daily vitamin-C in just two tears. This blog having, if you can guess, nothing really to do with the flooz factor of Ms. Banks, although odds are my statement is not so far from true.

Happy Friday my readers.

Anyone ever googled ‘taurine’? Ox Bile . . . Red Bull, huh what? Well thank goodness Red Bull has B12 in it or it would kill me for sure, or at least my appetite. It could be worse yes, but just the word ‘bile’ sends me a bit over the edge.

I was wasting time on the Red Bull website today and really wanted to share the rad can art I found but I will admit I got a bit distracted with the ingredients. Mostly hung up on taurine. The nice way to explain taurine is to say it is an organic acid that can be found in many animal species, including humans. The scary way to explain taurine is to mention it as one of the main components of bile. Yes mam, Ox bile to be more specific as it was first ‘isolated’ from this source, as Wikipedia states.

I really want to get further into taurine for you but recommend you read up yourself as I can’t quite work through ALL the scientific terms to make it clear in a paragraph or two here.

I will however talk can art with you. Check out the blue god like bull with it’s arms out. The intense shaping of the smooth blue dragon. The piece entitled ‘Simple Chemistry’ which I find rather interesting after my science lesson just minutes ago. The killer tomato is dope, the fat chicken is good fun, the fins on the Coy Fish pretty sweet, but what really raises my can . . . you know me too well, ‘La Sirena’.

In efforts to keep myself away from the evil that bestows me while cruising Myspace, I am leaning towards the notion that low times at work should not have me looking at ‘your space’ but instead flipping through online pages at my favorite news publication. My new time waster, much more beneficial to my soul. Educational, relaxing, contemplative, introspective, musing, and often amusing. I thrive on this new feeling of being ‘in the know’. I thrive on the knowledge I find and the way my mind expands as I challenge myself and my own belief system.

I have been spending much of my time on the Dot Earth Blog.

Yesterday I was shocked to learn of the ’scientific, research based’ whale hunting taking place, that readily increases it’s number of kills each year. Much controversy over what research is actually taking place and if in fact the killing is just a cover to hunt protected whale populations. And for the sake of grossing you all out (it worked for me) feast your eyes on this. Provided this photo is now 10 years old, but it still very graphically depicted the hunt, and why, to me, this is one of the least ‘gnarley’ things happening on the waves. Questions as to why anyone would want to continue to hunt whale for meat is beyond me, when documentation out there shows that whale meat is packed full of toxins. With the importance whales have on the ecosystem of the ocean, seems as though whales in-take harsh environmental toxins and in turn provide us with a somewhat cleaner ocean which then pumps out half of the earth’s oxygen. So really whales are serving as our clean air filter system. Yeah to whales! Nay to slaughter.

On a different more uppidy note, today I read about Tree pride in big cities and how their desire and fight to be the ‘Greenest City’ has many trashing their old incandescent tree lights for a new LED solar powered light. Like the tree that New Yorkers admire every year at Rockefeller Center which has cut it’s energy consumption in half. I just think it’s pretty rad really that a tree is running off solar energy and shining strong with LED’s. Don’t get me wrong, fiber optic is still the bomb if you are 35 and living in your mom’s basement, but LED is REALLY sexy baby. My family will probably shoot me for going green, but green’s pretty sexy too. And some of you already know I take no fear in pushing with a ’sexy’ campaign (that’s for you Bitter Law Student).